I’m going to just make out with my screen now.
I have missed this blog more than you have missed your extended family at Christmas. I have missed this blog more than *my* extended family at Christmas.
Well, the truth is, I am dating somebody. While you have no business in knowing anything else, just know that blogging was really hard between school, two jobs (one seasonal, but getting another), a significant other, a dying cat (my cat died), and a fish tank that needed weekly changes.
Some things have changed. My desire to blog, however, has not. I wrote that bitchy post because I needed to break facade on why I haven’t been here.
Now. I’m going to go month by month like last time and go through the movies. I’m going to primarily focus on Superhero movies, but I may do a separate post for other movies.
Marvel is basically kicking off 2016 with Deadpool. So many people, myself included, have been pining for the release of this movie back before it was even considered to be made. Now, here we are, perhaps a little more than a month away from seeing Deadpool on the big screen, complete with Ryan Reynolds, breaking the 4th wall, and all the not-so-lovely (but lovely) things associated with Deadpool. I’m not sure if I ever put this on my blog, but I really happened to like that Deadpool starts off sickly, and becoming Deadpool is his trade off to stay alive. As a person who is chronically (though not terminally) ill, I can really appreciate the sick humor in this film. For example, Captain America, who is sickly and just wants a chance to prove himself, becomes a goodie-two shoes. Deadpool makes disturbing jokes from the beginning – as I often do about myself. He doesn’t become a goodie-two-shoes. He becomes an antihero. He doesn’t suddenly start trying to do right in the world like Captain America. Nope. He’s still sarcastic, still snarky, and perhaps a bit more brutal after all the events, and doesn’t become a villain. And I like that. Because just as doctors have a dark sense of humor because of the amount of awful crap they see, often times people who have health problems can also have a really dark, sick sense of humor. The way he becomes Deadpool really appeals to that sense of humor (I have a very dark sense of humor). I did not have such a dark sense of humor prior to my diagnoses. After I got them, though, sarcasm literally became a second language, and I didn’t exactly hate everyone (aka, not like a villain).
I’ve been excited for Deadpool since Day 1. After all the hoopla it’s experienced with being rated R, having sex scenes, breaking the 4th wall, and plot possibilities, I’d say this is going to be in the top 3 superhero films of 2016. He sounds so much like the comic Deadpool and the fight for Reynolds to renew being Deadpool was well worth it. And now, after all this time, we aren’t that far away from this Deadpool being the Deadpool to remember – not the Wolverine one. Everything looks great – the acting, the character of Deadpool, the CGI. I think this movie will be one of those where there’s lines everyone remembers.
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE
I want to apologize in advance.
I want to start by saying Wonder Woman has been horribly miscast. I feel like the only reason they cast the person they did is because she was in the military and she’s skinny and cute. Sorry – saying this from a perspective of a woman who works out quite a bit. In fact, truthfully, I at one point had bigger biceps than the current actress. I understand the rationale behind casting a woman who was in the military, but as someone who knows quite a bit about exercising and the human body, I can tell you being in the military five years ago might not mean much in terms of how fast someone deconditions. Deconditioning is the gradual loss of muscle and ability of organs to perform (ie, running for 2 minutes or 20). So while she may be disciplined to follow a rigorous exercise plan, that isn’t exactly the point of movies. Movies don’t make men get buff, they just pick the muscles that make them look buff and exercise those, or just shape the muscles themselves without doing weight training (if anyone knows better than me, let me know, this is just what I know). They exercise the biceps, the pectorals, and probably the trapezius on men. Women don’t usually need to get buff for roles (let’s face it – Michael Bay is not doing women in action flicks any justice), so there might even be a lack of knowledge about how women gain muscle vs. how men gain muscle and how our physical anatomy might slightly differ. This actress does not fit the role at all in my opinion, and her body type, in my opinion, does not match that of Wonder Woman’s. And please do not say it’s because comics make people bigger than they realistically can be – which is true. However:
The fact that I just posted three buff men on this blog is proving a bigger point than they’re all incredibly good looking. Yes, the characters they portray are bigger than normal humans, but especially with Chris Evans in that photo, it wasn’t too hard for anybody to at least attempt getting as close as they could to an accurate physical representation. Why am I arguing this? Because I think Wonder Woman was cast for her looks, and not because she might resemble Wonder Woman. There are physically better options out there, because Wonder Woman standing next to these three guys – she looks tiny and looks like she can’t hold her own. Wonder Woman’s shoulders are broad, and her upper body torso is clearly toned by muscle/shape. I’m sorry, but, the actress doesn’t have that. And don’t tell me I’m being nitpicky or superficial or “just be happy a woman is involved”, because:
Unless you wanted Captain America to look like this the entire movie, too, you should stop talking.
Otherwise the movie looks very explosive, and I haven’t decided if that’s a good or bad thing. Sometimes the CGI looks a little iffy, like a video game. The plot looks like it’s two buff guys fighting to figure out who’s better than each other and the entire city is their schoolyard (ironically destroying things among the people who worship/hate them). Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I will be completely blown away (by everything other than Wonder Woman). And please, don’t show us his parents dying again – please… please.
Because we already have enough characters in this. Apparently, Cyborg, Aquaman, and of course Lex Luthor are all in this too. It feels like they’re trying to plan for the Justice League while also trying to cash in on everyone who has ever said “What if Batman and Superman got into a fight?”. I don’t particularly like Lex Luthor either, for many of the same reasons I don’t like Wonder Woman, but I’ll give him a pass on creative expression on part for the movie makers. For the record, I do like Affleck as a Batman (nobody will ever be Bale), I just think the circumstances he’s in isn’t ideal. Also for the record I love Batman and somewhat prefer DC characters to Marvel characters, but just.. their movies.. someone fell asleep at the wheel…
Still one of the three in the top 3, though.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
At first, for this movie, I was concerned about it getting stuffed. And it still is. The problem is, it still has the Avengers 2.5 feel.
Give Cap his own movie. You’ve managed to renew the love of Cap in the public sphere. Why would you include that many people? I mean, yes, it will make a good movie, and I’m going to say this is my second choice for the top 3 of 2016 of superhero movies. But give Cap his own spotlight. Bucky, Black Widow, Falcon, and even Iron Man all get a pass from me (although I don’t think BW is necessary). But Cap should get his own movie without so many others stealing his spotlight. I understand the plot mostly centers around what he refuses to do – hence it being a Cap movie – but what kind of screen time does he get?
If this were an Avengers movie, that complaint would not be there. And that is a big complaint for such a little section. A Captain America movie should be about Captain America.
Otherwise, everyone looks good. The movie looks solid.
… And all like, 34 characters. Still will be in the top 3. I just think they will need to give us some Cap later on to compensate for this.
What some might love about this movie – and some may hate – is Wolverine not being there. I have to say this movie couldn’t have came at a better time as Hugh Jackman is getting ready to hang up his metal claws. It’ll get us used to life without Wolverine for a little bit, because there’s no way he’s immediately going to be recasted right after Jackman retires. It’ll spell it’s own failure, if they do, in my opinion, just because Jackman has become Wolverine. He was even in a cameo in another movie as Wolverine (Believe it was a Night at the Museum). When I see Hugh Jackman, I think Wolverine. It’s going to take time and a good recasting to get me to think of another actor and see Wolverine in them. That’s why this movie is such a breath of fresh air – we can reconnect with the other X-Men. A lot of the X-Men movies have a heavy Wolverine presence. Regardless if you love or hate it, Wolverine is going to go now. It’s time for us to reconnect with the other X-Men.
And what better way to do that, is making them all young again without Wolverine?
I absolutely adore Michael Fassbender Magneto. Ian McKellen is great, but Fassbender Magneto is a certain intensity I haven’t felt from a villain since The Joker in The Dark Knight. He is electrifying. Ian McKellen is very, very charismatic, while Fassbender makes you go “oh ****”.
I’m interested in seeing Cyclops and Jean Gray’s past as well as Magneto and Mystique if they touch on it, but I just hope it doesn’t overtake the film like another superhero movie I can recall…
This feels like the Civil War version of X-Men. But what I did like is that instead of hordes of armies like in Days of Future Past, we literally get natural disaster images that would, maybe, accompany the end of the world. Apocalypse seems utterly terrifying, and evoking religious images or references would normally get a “guys, what the hell” sort of response. But Egypt in itself is a nod to religion, and seeing him talk about religious references is a bit on the creepy side, as well as the dying worship he gets. I don’t know too much about these characters otherwise, so this section might be short. Either way I’m happy Apocalypse isn’t a big bumblefuck of CGI, and I’m happy they’re introducing us to different X-Men. I’m also glad Magneto isn’t the main villain.
I, personally, am excited about this movie. However, I know it’s going to receive flak for a lot of the characters looking a bit different than what we would consider traditional, especially since it has already. What I originally said about this movie is coming true – the “villains” are technically the heroes, waiting to be the government’s scapegoat. There isn’t totally too much to say about it other than I’m not yet impressed with the Joker, but I can’t judge yet because I haven’t seen him in action. I remember somebody else by the name of Heath Ledger we wrote off, but I have a feeling about this guy that I won’t like him – and not because he’s not Heath Ledger. I understand people like the tattoos, but you don’t need tattoos to be a fucking maniac, so let’s see if they put as much detail into his personality as they have into his looks, regardless if you like it or not. Otherwise I’m excited for Harley probably the most.
Doctor Strange and Gambit will warrant their own post, I am slowly losing my sanity as I am trying to type this with two kittens who currently have the attention span of a squirrel. No kittens were harmed in the making of this post, however, a cooling pad gave it’s life at the paws of kittens and my power adapter now is at 80% health.